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Parents are having to rethink conversations with kids who suddenly want to change their names

17 min readUpworthy
California, United States
Parents are having to rethink conversations with kids who suddenly want to change their names
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Why it matters: this open dialogue between parents and children allows for greater understanding, self-expression, and strengthening of family bonds during the important years of personal identity formation.

Kids, or people in general, wanting to change their given names is nothing new. As an act of autonomy (or just simple creativity), it's perfectly natural to reinvent one's self until it feels right. Over on Reddit, a popular parenting thread wrestles with the same concept. One person states, "My child wants to change their name." They note, "My child (10) just started public school, and suddenly they have asked to change their name.

Here's the kicker: this isn't an effort to express their gender identity in another way. If they wanted to explore more non-conforming gender roles (non-binary/gender-fluid/transgender), I would be entirely, completely supportive of that. My spouse and I are both non-conforming to gender roles, and I could understand if our child wanted to explore something similar." They continue that they found the source of the new name.

"I did some digging, and I recently discovered part of their motivation for the change: it is the name of their favorite YouTuber. I don't even know where to start here. I feel a level of guilt being judgmental of my child's choice to change their name, but there also isn't anything inherently wrong with it. A rose by another name and all that, but am I wrong for thinking the reason for the change is just a little bit flippant and not a good motivation to change their identity, especially when that identity is being lifted from another, living person?" A menacing man asks that you say his name.

Giphy The post received are over three hundred comments, many of which share similar stories and anecdotes of how they changed their names as kids. One confesses they wanted to change their name a lot: "For what it's worth, I wanted to change my name a million times growing up. First, I wanted Dawn, then Angel, and lord knows what after that. I'm sure I went by Lilith during high school for a moment.

My parents were so blasé about it. I never did change my name." This Redditor notes they found it serendipitous that their child wanted to change her name, just as the person was reading a book that mentions name-changing.

"My 5-year-old decided to change her name just as I started rereading Northanger Abbey, so this quote stuck out to me: 'Sally, or rather Sarah (for what young lady of common gentility will reach the age of sixteen without altering her name as far as she can?)' It’s been a thing for centuries!" Another points out that the inspiration for names can wane over time: "My parents let me change my name when I was 8 to an animal name from a Disney movie. Not legally, but they called me that name and had all my teachers, coaches, etc., use it. As I got older, I realized how silly it sounded, but also my own name still didn't feel right. I chose another nickname (a person name this time), and when I went to middle school I went under this new name.

When I went to college, I tried to go back to my legal name, but it didn't stick, and I ended up telling everyone my nickname and using that until I finally changed it legally when I was about 23." One shares that their young daughter has asked to go by "Grass," so they do. Spider-Man dances like nobody's watching. Giphy Spider-Man Dance GIF And some, of course, note that the moment will pass: "My son went by Spider-Man for almost a year at age 4. He’s 23 now and happy with his given name."

Brightcast Impact Score (BIS)

65/100Hopeful

This article highlights a positive story about parents being supportive and understanding as their child explores changing their name, which is a common experience for many people. The article provides a balanced perspective, acknowledging the parent's initial hesitation while also highlighting the supportive and non-judgmental approach they are taking. The article focuses on constructive solutions and real hope for the child's personal growth and identity exploration.

Hope Impact20/33

Emotional uplift and inspirational potential

Reach Scale20/33

Potential audience impact and shareability

Verification25/33

Source credibility and content accuracy

Encouraging positive news

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