How an astronaut learned to lead through vulnerability and listening

Cady Coleman has spent her career in places where trust isn't optional — it's survival. As a chemist, engineer, Air Force colonel, and NASA astronaut, she's learned that the leaders who keep teams functioning through the hardest moments aren't the ones barking orders from above. They're the ones willing to actually know the people they're leading.

In a recent conversation, Coleman shared three strategies she's tested in environments ranging from the space station to the ground. They're not revolutionary. But they work, which is why they matter.

Know your people as people

"People often say, 'There's no I in team,' but maybe there should be," Coleman says. This isn't about being friendly at the office party. It's about understanding that every person on your team has a whole life beyond their job title — and that life shapes how they show up at work.

When you can say to someone, "Your world is different from mine, and I'd like to understand it better," something shifts. You're not just collecting information. You're opening a channel where people feel seen. That vulnerability — the willingness to admit you don't know someone's full story — is what builds actual trust.

Before heading to the space station, Coleman's team worried that months away from family would be psychologically crushing. But she'd been commuting and working away from home for over a decade. When she shared that, her colleagues didn't just feel reassured about her — they realized she could help others through the same transition. Knowing who she was gave them a resource they didn't know they had.

Make space for people to push back

Leadership means setting direction. But it also means creating enough psychological safety that people feel they can actually speak up when something isn't working.

When NASA announced budget cuts that would eliminate smaller space suits, Coleman faced a choice: wait years for new equipment or figure out how to train in a larger suit. She could have accepted the constraint. Instead, she worked with decision-makers to reshape her training plan. That only happened because she felt the freedom to advocate for herself — because her leaders had made it clear that good ideas could come from anywhere, not just from the top.

Had she stayed quiet, she says, she'd have been waiting a decade.

Make trust the actual goal

Trust doesn't happen by accident. It happens when you decide it's non-negotiable and then build everything else around it.

When trust breaks or a new challenge emerges, Coleman's approach is simple: ask why. Why did this happen. Why does someone feel this way. What can actually be done. Then listen to the answers, even if they're uncomfortable. Connection often lives in smaller moments — asking about someone's weekend, writing a note about an idea you liked, showing up as someone willing to be wrong.

As a woman entering fields dominated by men, Coleman knew some colleagues would need convincing. Her strategy: perform well, be patient, and slowly learn the language of the spaces she moved through while teaching others hers. Trust, she reminds us, is both given and earned. The challenges in gaining it never fully disappear. But when you model vulnerability and openness, the rewards show up too.

Coleman's forthcoming book, "Sharing Space: An Astronaut's Guide to Mission, Wonder, and Making Change," expands on these ideas. The leadership lessons from 250 miles above Earth turn out to translate pretty well to ground level.