Shannon Nelson, known online as Pinky Nel, hit 70 and decided to stop pretending. In a series of Instagram videos that have resonated across age groups, she's been listing what she's simply no longer willing to do: bikini waxes, thong underwear, high heels, coloring her hair, driving at night, holding in her gas, small talk, mansplaining, unsolicited golf tips.
The premise is straightforward but something about it lands differently depending on who's watching. A 37-year-old commented that she'd already ditched most of the list. Younger followers tag their parents. People in their 60s and 80s add their own items in the comments.
"One of the many benefits of getting older is that your 'To Do' list changes into a 'Not To Do' list," Shannon explains. It's not really about the specific items—though the specificity is part of what makes it funny. It's about permission. The permission to stop performing for an audience that, frankly, isn't paying that close attention anyway.
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Start Your News DetoxIn a follow-up video, Shannon expands the list: she's stopped saving for a rainy day, using the good china, pretending to read books (audiobooks now), and—most pointedly—saving "I love you" for special occasions. "I say it every day. To my family, to my friends, to the dogs. Hell, I've even said it to my golf clubs. And I meant it."
That shift from the practical to the emotional is where the videos move beyond humor into something more genuine. She's stopped wincing at her reflection. She's stopped worrying about how she looks from behind. She's stopped checking her teeth in mirrors or obsessing over her dog's dental health. The smaller anxieties that accumulated over decades have simply been set down.
What Shannon's tapping into isn't new—philosophers have written about the freedom that comes with accepting mortality, with mattering less to the world's judgment. But there's something about watching a 70-year-old woman say it plainly, with a laugh and a camera phone, that makes it feel less abstract. Less like wisdom and more like permission slip you didn't know you needed.
The videos work because they're honest without being preachy. She's not saying aging is beautiful or that wrinkles are wonderful. She's saying: I spent decades doing things I didn't actually want to do, and now I'm not going to. That's the actual freedom part. Not acceptance of decline, but refusal to waste energy on things that stopped mattering.
It's striking a nerve because plenty of people—at 37, at 50, at 65—are realizing they don't have to wait until 70 to start the "Not to Do" list. The conversation Shannon's sparked isn't really about age. It's about the gap between what we think we should want and what we actually do.
