Stop chasing trends: here's how to actually find your unique personal style

Style can feel hard to pin down, especially when you see so many different looks online. You might know what you like on others, but making it your own can be tricky.

The good news is that finding your personal style isn't a quick fix. It's a journey. Your style changing over time simply shows you've been living and growing. Stylist Leandra Medine Cohen advises letting your style evolve naturally. She says honesty is key: "You can’t know your style until you know yourself.”

Find Inspiration That Resonates

Everyone has style icons, even if they don't realize it. Think about movie characters, musicians, or social media accounts that make you feel an immediate pull. These reactions are valuable clues.

When you gather inspiration, look for what truly connects with you. This could be a certain shape, color, or overall mood. Icons should be reference points, not templates to copy exactly. Trying to replicate a look that doesn't fit your body or lifestyle often leads to buying things that feel wrong later.

This approach works for both fashion and home decor. Once you have a few consistent inspirations, look for common themes in colors, shapes, textures, and moods. This common thread is your personal aesthetic.

Create a Visual Mood Board

Before you buy anything, visually organize your inspiration. A mood board doesn't need to be fancy. You can use tools like Canva or simply tape printed images to a wall. The goal is to see your references side-by-side so patterns become clear.

Include a wide range of items: color swatches, photos, film stills, or even a picture of a meal that captures a certain vibe. Imagine the life and space you want. Then, step back and observe what emerges. You'll see what you already own that fits, and what belongs to an older version of yourself.

Be Patient with the Process

The internet offers endless inspiration, but it can also make you feel like your style is always behind. Remember, that's just a feed, not an accurate reflection of reality.

Personal style doesn't appear overnight. It grows through trying new things, through phases you might later find amusing, and through slowly collecting items that truly suit you. Style writer Lydia Okello suggests not changing everything at once. She says it's okay to gradually evolve into your next style iteration.

When an online account inspires you, ask yourself what part of it genuinely fits your life. What can you truly adapt, rather than just copy? This careful selection is what makes an aesthetic truly personal. Developing your style is like developing your sense of self: both get richer when you don't rush them, and both often make more sense in hindsight.