A new study from the University of Illinois finds that couples who intentionally slow down to appreciate positive experiences together report fewer arguments, greater relationship satisfaction, and more confidence their relationship will last.
The research surveyed 589 adults across the US, asking how often they and their partners intentionally focused on good moments together. Researchers called this "joint savoring" — the practice of pausing to become aware of and focus on positive experiences, whether that's reminiscing about a memory from earlier in your relationship, enjoying a meal together, or talking about something you're both excited about coming up.
What the research found
People who engaged in more joint savoring reported significantly less conflict with their partners, more satisfaction with their relationship, and stronger confidence in their future together. The effect was especially pronounced for couples dealing with higher stress. "When couples face greater stress, savoring can serve as a buffer, helping protect their confidence in their relationship and their mental health," said Noah Larsen, the study's lead researcher.
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Start Your News DetoxThis matters because stress often strains relationships — but the research suggests that deliberately pausing to notice what's working can act as a counterbalance. It's not about ignoring problems. It's about making sure the good moments get the same attention that conflicts do.
Among the 589 participants, more than 85% were married, about 10% were engaged, and 4% were in committed dating relationships. The average age was 39, and overall, respondents reported relatively high levels of both individual and joint savoring, along with generally low stress levels.
The practical takeaway is straightforward: even once a week matters. "Finding time — even just once a week — to slow down, be present with your partner, and talk about positive experiences in your relationship or focus on something you both enjoy can really benefit you as a couple," Larsen said. That might mean a dedicated dinner conversation, a walk where you reminisce, or fifteen minutes talking about plans you're both looking forward to.
For couples navigating especially stressful periods — job loss, health challenges, family conflict — these moments of intentional appreciation may be most protective. They're not a substitute for addressing real problems, but they're a tangible tool that research now suggests can help relationships weather difficulty.
Study: "Joint Savoring in Romantic Relationships: Correlates and Protective Effects" - Contemporary Family Therapy, 2025
