Harvard just wrapped its 375th Commencement, which, if you think about it, is a lot of caps and gowns. Thousands descended upon Tercentenary Theatre for the annual ritual of turning extremely smart people loose on the world. And this year, things got a little… Conan.
Before the main event, the "Happy Committee" (yes, that's a real thing) of alumni volunteers made sure everything was perfectly festive. The Middlesex County Volunteers Fifes and Drums showed up in full Revolutionary-era regalia, because nothing says "future" like a nod to the past 250 years. The Harvard University Band also blasted some tunes, because apparently, that's where we are now.
President Alan Garber greeted the masses, but let's be honest, everyone was waiting for the guy in the red hair. Conan O’Brien, the commencement speaker, worked the crowd like it was a late-night monologue opener, high-fiving students on his way to the stage. Meanwhile, the Class of 2026 (who are still a few years out, bless their optimistic hearts) cheered under banners and shields, probably wondering if they'd ever be as cool as the guy currently getting a writing job offer yelled at him from the crowd.
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Start Your News DetoxSpeaking of which, during the ceremony, a student named Nyah Joudeh straight-up shouted to the stage, asking Conan to hire her classmate, Bernardo Sequeira, for a writing gig. Because why wait for the job market when you have a captive audience of thousands and a direct line to a comedy legend?
The graduates, in true Harvard fashion, personalized their mortarboards with everything from inside jokes to existential dread. And while honorands like Noel Malcolm and Peggy Noonan were present, it was Audra McDonald who got a surprise musical performance of her own song, "Wheels of a Dream," which is both impressive and slightly terrifying for anyone who prefers to graduate quietly.
Gavels, Hands, and Latin
Each school brought its own flair. The T.H. Chan School of Public Health grads waved plastic hands (because… public health?), while the Law School contingent proudly brandished gavels. One can only imagine the amount of impromptu gavel-banging that happened that day. Kiesse Nanor delivered the Latin Oration, because some traditions are just too good to let go.
After Conan delivered his undoubtedly witty and self-deprecating address, he was spotted walking the hallowed steps of Widener Library, probably contemplating the sheer weight of all that knowledge. The day wrapped with house luncheons and diploma conferrals, with Lowell House and Dunster House residents gathering to finally get their hands on those hard-earned pieces of paper. Families beamed, graduates celebrated, and somewhere, a lawyer with a gavel was probably already drafting a cease and desist letter for a bad take.
