Marmot Researchers Just Took Their Science to OnlyFans. Yes, Really.

When you've been studying something for 65 years, you expect a certain level of respect. Maybe even, dare we say, consistent funding. But for the dedicated folks tracking yellow-bellied marmots in the Rocky Mountains, the financial well is running dry. Their solution? OnlyFans.

Yes, the platform known for its… personal content is now home to "OnlyMarms," a page promising "uncensored marmot content!" Because apparently, that's where we are now. The Rocky Mountain Biological Laboratory (RMBL), which has diligently observed these fluffy ground squirrels near Crested Butte, Colorado, since 1962, is facing a funding cliff. So, out came the cameras, in went the marmots.

Daniel Blumstein, an ecology professor at UCLA, told LiveScience this move is born out of pure frustration with a brutal funding landscape. He's hoping it'll cover things like bait and field supplies, though he’s realistic it won't replace the big federal grants. And, let’s be honest, anyone subscribing for that kind of content is in for a significant disappointment. The videos are G-rated, featuring marmots digging, playing, and occasionally bickering, which might push it to a PG at best.

Emily Renkey, a master's student in Blumstein's lab, is the primary content creator. She told SFGate she aims for the "aww" factor and uses specific behavioral footage to sneak in some education. So far, the OnlyMarms page has generated a few hundred dollars — enough for bait, at least. Which, if you think about it, is both impressive and slightly terrifying that a few hundred dollars for bait requires an OnlyFans account.

But the RMBL isn't putting all its eggs in the marmot-on-OnlyFans basket. They're also launching "Fat Marmot Week" on August 24, where people can vote for the chunkiest marmot. Because when you're trying to save decades of vital research, you use every trick in the book. Even the ones involving furry influencers.